Do you have a hard time controlling your anger?
Do you find yourself lashing out in ways you later regret?
If so, self-compassion and mindfulness can help you.
Anger can be a tricky emotion to deal with. It’s easy to get angry and do something you’ll later regret.
But that doesn’t mean anger is a “bad” emotion. You can think of anger like a tool. A hammer is neither good nor bad, but it can be used to help or hurt. Feeling angry can push you to stand up for yourself or something you believe in, and it can be used to cause harm.
By the end of this blog post, you will understand and know how to use self-compassion and mindfulness to manage anger and other painful emotions. They are two powerful practices that can help stop your anger and other painful emotions from controlling you and leading you to do something you’ll regret.
What are Self-compassion and Mindfulness?
Put simply, self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself kindly when things are difficult.
And mindfulness is the practice of focusing on what’s happening in the present moment without self-judgment or self-criticism.
Why we should use these practices when dealing with anger
It’s easy to get swept up in anger and other painful emotions, but allowing anger to influence how you act or what you say can lead to undesirable results.
How many times have you said or done something out of anger that later led to regret??
If you’re human, it’s happened at least once.
So, rather than allowing your anger to get the best of you and cause you to lose a friendship, relationship, job, or your dignity, let’s figure out how to reign it in with some simple exercises.
Friends are there to support us, but everyone has their limits for tolerable behavior
Applying Self-compassion and Mindfulness to Your Life
Self-compassion and mindfulness can each help you deal with anger, but together they make a powerful self-management tool.
Identify what you are feeling
This might seem like an odd first step, but it is surprisingly effective at taking control of your emotional state.
The next time you are experiencing a painful emotion like anger, repeat the following phrase:
“I am experiencing (the name of the emotion).”
Doing this separates you from the emotion so you can look at it objectively. Your self-awareness then allows you to observe the emotion, understand it, and navigate around it rather than letting it control you.
Side note: make sure you avoid saying something like, “I am angry.” Doing so will accomplish the opposite of the above because you are identifying yourself as the emotion. And if you identify as the emotion, it’s much easier to allow yourself to be controlled by it.
