Has anyone ever called you a ‘great listener’? If so, this is a huge red flag that people view you as a ‘nice guy.’ What got me thinking about this more is the audiobook I just completed, “No More Mr. Nice Guy — a Proven Plan to Getting What you Want in Love, Sex, and Life” by Dr. Robert Glover. Powerful is an understatement for this audiobook.
Being a nice guy will literally ruin your life. I know because I was that guy, and I am not proud to admit it. Women don’t respect these nice guys, and these nice guys get pushed around. I struggle every day with these tendencies and urges to revert back to my former nice guy self.
Why the {Nice Guy Syndrome} is so destructive
- Thinking they can change their actions or behaviors to their surroundings or situations in order to be happy, loved, liked, or get what they want out of life — this chameleon-like approach destroys self-esteem and the ability to be who they want to be.
- Giving with the expectation of getting in return — if someone is genuinely doing something nice or kind, they don’t expect anything in return. But nice guys are sneaky, conniving, and dirty expecting something in return.
- Having difficulty saying what they want and need — nice guys resort to dirty tactics to get what they want in a roundabout way because of this lack of ability to communicate.
- Feeling more comfortable around women than men — nice guys are trying to get ass, which never happens because they are the nice guys and great listeners. They also don’t have the capacity to build male relationships, which is a problem. They think they’re so valuable because they’re around all of these girls when the truth is these women date the men that the nice guys are not capable of being friends with.
- Being comfortable with getting life’s sloppy seconds — the nice guys allow life to happen and take what they can as opposed to what they want.
- Never meeting their full potential — if nice guys are always focused on pleasing others, they will always be concerned about (a) how others perceive them and (b) what others are thinking. This prevents the nice guys from doing the work or going after what they want to be as successful as possible, including sex.
- Being dissatisfied with their sex life — they’re not as freaky as they want to be, and/or they cheat. It’s counterproductive.
- Not being able to set boundaries for others and themselves — this is a hard lesson that I had to learn, and I was taken advantage of. I was desperate for attention and to have people like me and want to be around me, which actually pushed people away.
- Apologizing for things that aren’t their fault — nice guys want everyone to get along and eliminate conflict, thinking that everything is great if everyone is getting along. I felt that people wouldn’t…
